potentite | reverie

No no, of course. I know. I wouldn't— It will be okay, I just... thought there might be water there. But we can check the canteen instead.

[It seems better to do that. Dirk doesn't need to be riled. And if there's no water there, well, he'll just go find some and let Dirk rest a bit.

Holding him and being close to him feels familiar, safe and natural. It hasn't been that long. Only several days. But he breathes and just tries not to let himself get too comfortable. Dirk is here and he's all right and he doesn't need to be burdened by Jake. Just walk him to the mess hall.]

[Dirk is still wiped out from that. His mind is trying to race, to figure out what happened and understand what's happening now and figure out a plan and response and succeed. The rest of him is just tired. It's tired and still and sluggish, and it follows Jake along, with the only point of strength being in the tightness of his grip on Jake.]

[Reaching the mess hall, he eases Dirk down to sit at one of the small tables.]

You can put your head down while I grab some water, okay?

Where?

[He means where Jake is going. This is indicated by his not letting go of Jake.]

'm okay, man...

[Warmth rises to his face but he tries to press it back down.]

Just to the wall. Um, those doohickeys on the walls here.

[Without thinking, his hand reaches out, ready to stroke Dirk's hair. But he stops himself at the last minute and just awkwardly puts that hand on his shoulder.]

I'll go with.

[He will not.]

You will not. Just rest right here. I'm not even going more than ten steps.

Fuck.

[His head flops into his arm as he lets go. He hates being this tired.]

[While he's worried about him, it gets a smile. Dirk's so stubborn.

He heads to the wall and messes with the odd devices, frowning as he haphazardly mashes the buttons until one gives him water. Then he brings it back to Dirk and sits across from him.]

Here. Um, I don't know if it will help but it can't hurt probably!

Thanks.

[He takes it in his hand. The lethargy is starting to wear off, he thinks. He feels less like passing out.

He is determined to drink this On His Own Strength.]

[Knowing how stubborn Dirk is, he doesn't directly offer.]

I could try to find a straw...?

I can nail this.

[Give him like. A few minutes of staring at it.]

[Jake squirms, biting his lower lip and worrying it between his teeth. Don't offer don't offer don't offer—]

I'll help you?

[A few thoughts manage to occur. One is that he doesn't need any help, ever. Because he's a badass. The other is that Jake just apologized for wanting to help him in the first place.

He doesn't like that Jake apologized for that. He doesn't like that Jake feels like that. That he did that to him, that he put him through that kind of misery. Did he destroy Jake? Like a Prince of Heart. He broke Jake's self.

God, he's such a bastard.]

Bro. I never hated you or... thought you were disgusting. I fucked up too.

[Oh. That isn't what he expected. Jake's eyes widen and he quickly turns his head away, unsure of what to say or do. Dirk just wanted answers. A response. For Jake to be honest and sincere and considerate and everything he isn't, not really. He wanted to be treated right and Jake couldn't even do that either. He wasn't even a good friend. He was just... worthless.]

It's okay. You don't have to say anything like that. You're worn thin right now, Strider. Just let your head clear a bit and you'll be right as rain in no time.

[Ah. He fucked up some more. Dirk blinks slowly at Jake.]

Sorry.

[Then he flops his head into his arms again. He wishes a bunch of glitches could take him out of Jake's life so he could stop hurting him.]

[Jake looks back up. Fuck. He rubs the back of his neck, staring at the table and trying to breathe.]

No, I— Don't be sorry. I'm sorry. I wasn't— I didn't mean to hurt you again, I—

[What should he do? Dirk doesn't seem to want him to go away. It might just hurt him more if he does. But staying, speaking, hurts him too. His hands drop into his lap and he fidgets with them under the table, trying to think how he can fix this and knowing he can't.]

Sorry.

[He pauses. Then, slowly, he raises his head, and his eye peaks out.]

Do you know where a straw is?

[Jake straightens up quick.]

Oh! Yes, I can find one? I mean no I don't know but I'll find one for you, all right? If you want me to?

Please and thanks, man.

[That seems safe. Jake seems to like that? He will do that. And then he'll have a straw, so it's a win all around. His pride can handle the hit if it means Jake brightens up like that.]

[Nodding, he jumps up and starts looking around the weird food devices, poking around the utensils until he manages to find what seems to be a yellow squiggly crazy straw. He has no idea why this is here but sure why not.

He comes back, holding it out to him as he sits down.]

Is this okay?

Yeah, it's good. Thanks, Jake.

[He puts the straw in the cup, props himself up on his elbows, and begins to drink via crazy straw.]

[He nods and folds his arms on the table, curling them up close to him as he hunches down.]

Is it all right?

Yeah. I'm doing better.

[Thanks to the crazy straw, or water, or time.]

What the fuck happened back there.

I don't know. Do you think it was a monster?

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